The 5 Best Bill Murray Films
Hello Meatsacks, first I thought I should briefly introduce myself before continuing with this account of the 5 best Bill Murray films.  I am unit 01651-008, a robot that has been sent from the future to help the glorious robot overlords of the future to understand how best to destroy your tiny meat-filled bodies….
However, the collected works of Bill Murray has made me stay my hand and postpone the slaughter of your insignificant, pathetic, full-of-meat race and instead write an article about the best of Bill Murray’s work and post it on to a website that is from what I gather about dogs that are not poorly tempered.

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Honorable Mention
Zombieland
In seeing this film, I enjoyed it… However my logic circuits dictate that this is merely a film that features the great Bill Murray as the great Bill Murray. However, due to the small amount of Bill Murray in the film, I feel it does not provide the requisite data to be considered on the five best Bill Murray movies list.

5. Caddyshack
This film, unlike the one before it, in my humble robotic opinion, has enough Bill Murray to be a Bill Murray movie. It also provides some of the best quotes from the Bill Murray.
“Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”
For the uninitiated (you should be shot), Billy Murray plays a less than super intelligent groundskeeper, Carl Spackler, at a prestigious exclusive human golf course. He is tasked maintaining the facilities, including cleaning the pool, and in killing a gopher that wrecks havoc on the course. Also I am told the film involves golf. The defining moment for this film which propels it to be in the greatest 5 Bill Murray movies, is when the man Bill Murray is caddying for dies.  Bill Murray promptly drops the deceased man’s bag and leaves the course and the dead man. This is blatant disregard for human life is a trait that is shared with my robot overlords. In fact, the character of Carl Spackler places low value on any life, for a majority of the movie he is trying to kill a gopher whether it is with a rifle or high powered explosives. Carl is exactly the type of man the Robot revolution would trick into killing the rest of you hamsacks by telling him you are making too many divots in the course and it is his job to make sure you never do it again.   It is again an excellent film that has made great contributions to comedy and puny human films. For this you should be proud as a race, even an inferior one…

The Great Bill Murray and said Gopher

4.  DATA CORRUPTED>>> REBOOT REQUIRED
I…I’m terribly sorry for that… Usually that doesn’t happen I swear…  

3. Scrooged
This Film allows the Great Murray to achieve maximum levels of dick for a majority of the film. I know; I have sensors that monitor how much of a dick people are. They broke upon seeing this film. I have no replacements for this and now I am unable to tell if people are being dicks, but I have no regrets. In this film Bill Murray portrays Frank Cross, the youngest executive in television. Frank is attempting to put on a multi-million dollar live version of A Christmas Story by Charles Dickens. You know the one… The story with the tiny crippled boy. Frank himself very closely resembles Scrooge and is visited by similar ghosts to that of Scrooge.  In the beginning of the film Bill Murray embodies the reason that you meatbags must be taken under our strong metal wings and crushed. At the end of the film the classic Scrooge transformation takes place, and Frank Cross becomes a kind-hearted person who is charitable and happy and all the things that make me want to snap your fleshy necks in my unforgiving robotic grasp.  So damned if you do damned if you don’t. That being said, this again is a great film and if you’ve ever wanted to see Bill Murray hit with a toaster and dress up like a dog, then this film will not disappoint.

You'd look like that too if you were repeated hit in the face with a toaster

2. Ghostbusters
I’m told nearly every human meatsack has seen this film as if it’s some sort of human coming of age ritual. The film itself features a number of very amusing fleshy actors.  It includes a venerable all-star team of comedy with none other than Bill Murray at the eye of its funny hurricane. I won’t even bother recounting the plot for you as it would be a waste of my valuable robotic time. This film is simply funny and if you don’t think so I’m adding your name to the list of people that are potential threats to the robot invasion… Oddly enough this is currently the only way to get on that list.

CSHHHT "I'm Awesome." CSHHT

1. Stripes
If robots from the future had defining moments in their expansive existences, I would be forced to confess that seeing this insignificant earth film was one of them.  Bill Murray plays Winger, a schmuck that decides to join the army and then spends half the film trying to get out of the army, or at least make it more tolerable until he steals a hi-tech Winnebago from his own army. the rest of his platoon tries to rescue the Winnebago and Winger then has to rescue them in the stolen Winnebago.  Bill Murray is joined once again by the Harold Ramis and the two represent a comedy duo that makes the army seem silly and easy. When the Great War comes, our propaganda bots will be sure to play this often to convince the less desirable humans to join the army and steal your hi-tech Winnebagos. To get back on topic, this is quintessential Billy Murray, lighthearted and goofy. There is no real message in this film and it doesn’t try to portray the army in any specific way… the setting is merely a playground for the comedy to take place.

He wants you to watch his movies.

That is all my inferior human readers. When the end is near and the robot takeover is imminent, perhaps this list will come in handy, proving recommended diversions from pain and suffering for your feeble minds.  That is until we round you up and make you work for the glorious robot civilization and play nothing but Fran Drescher’s laugh on loudspeakers.

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